This is where i heal my hurts …
Usually i am running with an iPod. When i run real late or real early i leave it at home so i can hear the silence better. But when i run during the day, i bring my soundtrack. The one thing my life has, lacking a rewind and a laugh track.
Anyways at some point the other day God Is A DJ by Faithless came up and for some reason this time i really listened to the words. Although they are probably not talking about the forest i run in (or any forest for that matter), This is my church, this is where i heal my hurts so totally appealed to me.
It seems that the music is not so much about the melody, the how and why, it’s all about the rhythm, about the stride, about the sound when the foot hits the ground. Again. And again. And again.
And the voice keeps repeating the mantra. This is my church. It made me think about about why i run. And why so far.
Solutions and remedies. Something everybody is looking for. And sure something i am looking for. Situations and problems, a bunch of stuff i have been facing, was asking for solutions. And when i, more often than not, fucked up, didn’t find them, at least i hoped for the remedies. At least one. But life was never that easy and it still ain’t.
But in a way, running is. You start here and get to there. It doesn’t even have to be fast. Just get there. It’s a simple task and has a simple solution. And if you don’t make it, there is a remedy just as simple: Train harder.
Sometimes i can’t see the connection between real life and running, cos life is so much more complicated and complex. Then it seems impossible to apply the principles of how you’re dealing with a run, a distance to dealing with anything life throws at you.
But there is one thing i do know at all times. I don’t do it for anyone. It is nice when people respect what i do, when i get some kudos while my legs are contemplating melting on the spot and my lungs are burning. But at the end of the day i think i do this for all the loose ends i left behind. For any question not answered. For any job quit. For any love lost. For any minute wasted. For anything i didn’t finish.
When bitterness ends. I think i might just be running for redemption.
